


Twice Shy

by WhyNotFly



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: A brief exploration of Jon and Daisy friendship, Allusions to Violence, Gen, Reference to Canonical Character Death, allusions to struggling with addiction, in season four
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyNotFly/pseuds/WhyNotFly
Summary: There are days where handholding turns into bruises.  There are days where he wakes up with teeth pressed to his throat.  There are days when the hazy glint of liquor in Daisy’s eyes goes sharp and focused and he can feel the way she’s counting the beat of his pulse like a gambler counting cards.  In, out, he breathes, and the air moves the long, thin scar she gave him, and the dozen scars she didn’t give him, and the countless invisible scars that she hasn’t yet given him, lurking like unturned soil beneath his skin.He can see them.  She can see them.  But they’ve both learned well enough by now that if you want to be touched, you have to accept the potential to be hurt.
Relationships: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Alice "Daisy" Tonner
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	Twice Shy

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Once Bitten](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21856396) by [WhyNotFly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyNotFly/pseuds/WhyNotFly). 



There are days where handholding turns into bruises. There are days where he wakes up with teeth pressed to his throat. There are days when the hazy glint of liquor in Daisy’s eyes goes sharp and focused and he can feel the way she’s counting the beat of his pulse like a gambler counting cards. In, out, he breathes, and the air moves the long, thin scar she gave him, and the dozen scars she didn’t give him, and the countless invisible scars that she hasn’t yet given him, lurking like unturned soil beneath his skin.

He can see them. She can see them. But they’ve both learned well enough by now that if you want to be touched, you have to accept the potential to be hurt.

“But you have Daisy,” Melanie says. “So you don’t understand.”

Daisy combs her fingers with their unclipped nails through Jon’s hair and he closes his eyes each time the sharp tips catch and pull and he wonders what it means to _have Daisy._ Is the price of being understood to drag someone deep into your own grave, out of fear of being buried alone? When Daisy grips his wrist to center her breathing, it is the only time Jon has a wrist. He’d lost it, somewhere back before he woke up without a face. Maybe he hadn’t survived the explosion. Scattered into thousands of pieces. Just like Tim.

Melanie says, “At least I knew the anger was mine. So I could define myself by it.”

Is that what silence is, to Martin? A reclamation of the truth of always being left behind. Jon wakes up tilted onto Daisy’s side with her jacket slung haphazard around him smelling like sweat and old leather and he can feel the tremor in her skin so deep below the surface. Pressed down by endless pressure, rising like heat, like sound. Jon fits his mouth around the curve of Daisy’s shoulder, blunt teeth pressing a circle that will not stay, to keep himself from asking her to hurt him. It wouldn’t do to dig the roots of the only plant that sprouted.

Daisy says, “You should sleep more,” and Jon hears the words beneath the words that say _I need more time in this world where I do not have to exist._

Jon pulls her jacket up higher, crushing his cheek against the softness of leather that remembers the sun. He can close his eyes for her. For Daisy, he can try to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a brief companion piece to [Once Bitten](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21856396) so if you like this or this style you should go read that one, it's longer and more well thought through and an actual story.
> 
> I posted this forever ago on my tumblr ([@apatheticbutterflies](https://apatheticbutterflies.tumblr.com/) come hang out with me I'm cool) but I'm trying to get things organized before the new year, so I'm posting some of my longer, slightly better written story fragments on ao3! Hope you enjoyed this one :)


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